Separation of church and state

Besides the division in goverment branches, there are few demarcations in our democracy more clear than the separation of church and state - though as a nod to my democratic-party tendancies, the lines have been blurred just a bit (can you hear the sarcasm) with our current presidential administration. So maybe I should clarify, there are few supposed divisions in our democracy more clear than the separation of church and state.

So in my life, the separation of church and state should be the division between my emotions and my ability to logically reason. Sterotypically, it is the female gender that tends to blend emotion and logic, rationalizing that one directly affects the other. And while I purport to try and behave anti-sterotypically, this might be one cliche I've fallen right into.

Likely my biggest issue is that I typicaly don't do anything halfway. It's either all or nothing. Why do it halfway when you can go completely over the top, right?!?! When I've made a decision, I want the resulting action to happen immediately. When I feel a certain way, the affected person has to know right now. When I change my mind, I want any resulting action to happen at the snap of my finger. This default in my personality may also be the reason I often have very little patience. It's also why I seem to have little ability to separate my emotions from reason. Why one bleeds over into every aspect of my life.

I like to think that I'm in control, so this loss of control or inability to make this clear separation frustrates the hell out of me. So anger, passion, indifference, worry, empathy, frustration, love, distress, fear, delight, calm, guilt, elation...I'm in the zone in 2.5 seconds. And since I tend to lead with my emotions rather than reason, the best is when it's a lovely combination of divisive emotions - passion and frustration, or elation and distress. They sure pack a one-two punch. Add in my tendancy to overthink everything, and blessings to the lucky person on the receiving end.

At the same time, my all-or-nothing, passionate approach can't be all bad. It's what makes me fight for what I want. It's what makes me a loyal and dedicated friend. So I guess I'll just keep wrestling with my multiple personalities, since it seems to be a daily struggle - one that I don't particularly feel like I'm winning on this random Monday. Every now and then, I would love to model some of my guys friends who seem to easily be able to separate the emotion and the reason, keep apart the personal and the professional.

Ahh, I'm just an ongoing, never ending work in progress, irresistible to the masses. I'll never attain perfect separation of church and state. Maybe making the separation would make me less of who I am. And hey, who would want that?!?!

So now that I've wasted 20 minutes of my life composing this ridiculous post...and taken up vital space out in the netherworld...I just made a spontaneous decision to go buy a new carpet for my dining room.