My 12 days (or at least favorite things) of Christmas

Christmas is hands down my favorite holiday of the year. Dare I say it, but it's even better than my birthday.

There are many things about the holiday that I love, so since I didn't start early enough to post a "12 Days of Christmas" list, I will post my 12 favorite things about this jolly holiday.

12 - My favorite holiday cartoon is "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." And no, the bad Jim Carrey movie does not count.

11 - Special holiday dinners with my dear friends. For some, it's the only time of the year we actually get to sit down, relax, enjoy a glass of wine and share our joys of the year.

10 - My favorite Christmas CD is "Christmas with the Oak Ridge Boys." I grew up listening to it, and my sister and I both love listening to it. I'm enjoying it right now.

9 - Wrapping presents. And unlike every other previous year within memory where I did all of the wrapping by myself, the bf staged it perfectly for our first holiday season as a couple. The only light was from the Christmas tree. Holiday music was the soundtrack for the afternoon. We enjoyed a couple of bottles of wine and a nice plate of cheese, crackers and fruit. And he helped me wrap my gifts. It was the ideal present wrapping experience.

8 - My favorite holiday movie is "White Christmas" - the music, the storyline, the humor, how hopeful I feel while I'm watching it.

7 - Lying on the living room floor looking up at the Christmas tree.

6 - Sled riding. I know this is a general winter activity, but I associate it with Christmas. Spending hours outside sliding down the hill and then schleping the sled back to the top to do it all over again. (The only year I didn't enjoy it so much was when I put the sled through one of our basement windows.)

5 - Building a snowman, complete with coal eyes and mouth, carrot nose, scarf, twig arms and a nice hat.

4 - Picking out the tree at the tree farm. My family hasn't done this since I was in high school or early college. It was one of my favorite things growing up. We would all go the the tree farm together and spend what felt like hours picking out the perfect tree.

3 - Wrapping paper fight. My family has the best way of celebrating Christmas. As far as I know, it dates back at least 58 years (since that's how old my dad is). We all go to midnight mass together, which this year is a true test of dedication to the sanctity that midnight mass should take place at midnight (not 9 or 10 pm like a lot of Catholic churches have started doing). This year the closest church to my parents' new house with midnight mass is 45 minutes away.

So back to the tradition, we go to mass, drive home, run into the house and change into our pajamas. This is critical...no gifts can be handed out to anyone until everyone is in their pjs. My dad hands out gifts from the haphazard pile under the tree. And then it starts...THE WRAPPING PAPER FIGHT. It continues through the entire present-opening time. I told the bf to make sure he works on his aim. He claims he won't wing one at my mom, but just wait until she gets him first. Then I'll have to believe it will be game on. After gift opening, we pick up the mess caused by the crumpled up wrapping paper balls. We watch a family movie and eat chips and dip (only Lawson's French Dip), and people start drifting off around 4 am. It's the best way to celebrate Christmas ever. And I've repeatedly and repeatedly told the bf, technically it is Christmas Day when we unwrap!

2 - The munchkins. Not that my family members aren't all kids at heart, but we will be celebrating our second Christmas with my neices, the Bomba munchkins - Olivia and Cassie. Last year, they were less than five months old, so all they really did was sleep. This year, they will have napped in the car and at church, and we're anticipating they will be their regular maniac selves tearing open boxes and generally just running around the house. Plus, that's two more targets for the crumpled wrapping paper balls.

1 - My favorite thing this year is simple. I get to spend it with the bf. It's our first Christmas together, the first of many to come. He's already made it perfect.

The next step (and no, not the kind with a shiny diamond in a pretty velvet box)

Ah, that dreaded milestone in a relationship when it’s time to meet the significant other’s parents. I’ve heard the horror stories from others about how the first meet-and-greet went horribly wrong with no ability to recover from the disaster – hence leading to the eventual demise of the relationship. I’ve also heard about the opposite where the newly introduced party and the parents instantly become BFF.

So when I was scheduled to meet the bf’s parents this past weekend, I was hoping for a happy middle ground between those two extremes – ok, maybe leading a bit more towards the later – not the BFF part, but at least mutual likability between all involved parties.

Now, he met my parents about three months ago. Though my family isn’t that big, it did involve about 15 people for a cookout at my parents’ house. My family can be fairly loud and boisterous (though much of this might be attributable to them reacting to my obnoxious personality) – and so I figured what the heck, I’ll just throw him into the middle of that and see if he sinks or swims. Now, I wasn’t as ruthless as that sounds. I did prep him fairly well on the different personalities that would be involved. And of course, he was his usual charming self and was well received by all. (I think this is probably best demonstrated when after all of us helping my parents move a couple of months later, my brother-in-law asked, “Can we keep him??”)

Anyway, back to me meeting his parents. In mid October, he first broached the subject of introducing me to them, and with everyone’s schedules, this past weekend is when everyone was available.

Now I met both of them briefly at this year’s Easter church service, but it was under the guise of “Meet my friend, Kate. She’s attending service with me before she goes to her parents for dinner.” (In his defense, though we were dating at that time, it wasn’t too serious yet.)

So this past weekend’s meeting would serve as the first “official” meeting where I would be introduced as “the girlfriend.” Now, while I just threw him into the shark tank when he met my parents, he decided to be strategic about the introduction to his parents. He announced that the four of us would meet at a restaurant and partake of dinner together.

He anticipated that this approach would be potentially less stressful for everyone than dinner at his parents’ house. And since he had been nice enough to inform me a couple of months ago that his dad has never really warmed up to anyone he has previously dated, I was very appreciative to his attention to the details of the meeting, and his desire to set up a situation where things were more likely to succeed.

Though I tend to be pretty fearless, I will admit that the ominous warning about his dad was enough to make me feel more than a little stressed from time to time in the weeks leading up to the meeting. I knew that it was important to the bf that they like me, so I really wanted to do right by him.

So with all of these factors added to the mix, my goals for the dinner were to:
1. Officially meet his parents
2. Try and enjoy the evening
3. Not say anything inappropriate or too obnoxious (both of which can be challenging for me)

and…………
4. Not have them hate me

I will admit flashbacks to the 2000 “Meet the Parents” movie were frequently reoccurring in my brain. I was hoping it wouldn’t be some crazy version of the movie, which had the tagline “First comes love. Then comes interrogation.” Now while no one was asking for anyone’s hand in marriage, I was hoping it wouldn’t involve the suspicion, covert background checks and the famed lie-detector test showcased in the movie.

So how did it go? It went very well. We met at this great restaurant in North Canton called Main Street Grille. They seemed genuinely excited to meet me. Conversation was good and engaging from all parties. Appetizers, dinner, dessert and a couple of glasses of wine were all enjoyed at a nice slow, relaxing pace. The bf and I drove home from dinner feeling good about the evening. And I was especially relived because there seemed to be a foundation laid for potential, long-term likability.

My relief was further bolstered a couple of days later when the bf called with the first-hand report from a phone conversation with his dad and an email from his stepmom. Apparently, they liked me.

Well, no need to worry, there's plenty of time left for me to screw things up, but for the foreseeable future, I'm good. We'll see how Christmas goes when I meet the other million members of the family.

The trip south and back

Traveling with a significant other for the first time can be somewhat of a test for your relationship. It can be inherently stressful, and everyone deals with travel stress differently.

So I approached the first true trip that the bf and I would take with a lot of excitement mixed with a bit of caution. We get along great, and we seem to be able (at least so far) to talk things through rationally when we have differing viewpoints. I thought that we would be ok, but of course, you never know.

When I was invited to travel south to Tuscaloosa, Ala., for a University of Alabama football game, I, of course, asked the bf to accompany me. He loves football (though, when it comes to college ball, he is a die-hard Ohio State fan), and I thought it would be a nice opportunity for us to spend some uninterrupted time together.

Little did I know that when I chose the game taking place the Saturday after Thanksgiving, that for once I had chosen wisely. I chose the game against Auburn because it meant neither of us had to take any time off of work. As I later learned, the Alabama/Auburn rivalry is perhaps the most important one for both schools. Known as the Iron Bowl, Auburn had won the last six years, and Alabama had never won on its home field. Another thing working in my favor? Going into the game, Alabama was ranked #1 in the nation with an undefeated record.

So while the choice of the game was working in my favor, the travel gods were busting a gut laughing at me when they learned that we would be traveling on perhaps the busiest travel weekend of the year, Thanksgiving weekend.

In preparation for our trip, I did something that I've pretty much never done before. I organized and packed my stuff the night before. I am famously a last-minute packer. Probably my most legendary packing escapade was in high school when I was leaving to go to Philmont in New Mexico for...three months. I started packing around 1:30 am, when we had to leave by 2:30 am to make it to Amtrak in time.

Anyway, so Thanksgiving evening, my clothes were all laid out in neat piles when the bf arrived from spending Turkey Day with his family. Thus, begun another first for me, sharing a suitcase with a significant other. I'm not sure if I'm just overly protective of my stuff or if I had just never had the opportunity before, but the bf has a large suitcase while I just have a little overnight bag. So half my stuff went into his suitcase. The result? Apparently I'm totally able to share suitcase space with another human being.

So on Friday, we managed to get our butts out of bed and make it to the Cleveland airport in plenty of time, though did run into some friends flying to Breckenridge for skiing. I was a little jealous. Anyway, we flew to Houston and had about a 90-minute layover, enough time to grab a decent lunch at Chili's Too (though I did have to ask them to fix the bacon). We successfully made it to Birmingham, and then the first travel issue arose.

We were scheduled to meet a driver who would transport us to Tuscaloosa. Now, before you go thinking that we were living it up with a driver in a black suit and one of those cute little hats waiting in baggage claim with our names on a board to then escort us to a limo with a minibar...our driver was supposed to be a nice guy driving a minivan. Anyway, just as we reach baggage claim, we get a call from him telling us that the van (which the company just bought new, and it only has 10,000 miles on it) broke down. So in the end, our main contact had to drive an hour from Tuscaloosa to the Birmingham airport (giving us time though to grab a snack) and drive back to Tuscaloosa.

We checked into the hotel, relaxed for a little while, grabbed showers and got dressed for dinner, which included divine barbecue, potato salad, baked beans (which I skipped) and sweet tea (perhaps my favorite thing about the south) - all provided by our very gracious hosts. With full bellies, we returned to the hotel, caught up on some tv and crashed.

We were up early on Saturday so that we could enjoy a good southern breakfast, complete with grits (which on this trip I learned I do not like with butter, but do enjoy with gouda). It was rainy and cloudy, but the weather guy said the rain would stop before the game.

It was then on to the Quad on campus to tailgate the way tailgating was meant to be done - show up, drink, eat, sit under a tent, enjoy, watch other football games on the flat screen, go watch the game - basically meaning someone else gets to set up and clean up.

After tailgating (more good food and adult beverages), we headed over to the stadium to hitch an elevator ride to the skybox. While we were waiting in line, we had the pleasure of seeing Charles Barkley walk by. The skybox was amazing, with more great food and company. And of course the game was...awesome - Alabama shut out Auburn 36 to zip, zero, nada. We got to experience the legendary Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer song first hand. Of course, earlier in the afternoon, the bf had thrown me under the bus by spilling to our hosts that he had practiced the song in advance and I had not. No worries, I did fine, and we had an absolute blast at the game.

We hoofed it back to the truck and then hit a great suburban restaurant, of which, of course, I can't remember the name. Warmed up with some hot cocoa and a nice Pinot Noir, and this is where I learned I like grits with gouda. It was a nice relaxing evening, the perfect way to finish off a long, fun-filled day.

Back at the hotel, it was such a long day that I was going to read while the bf caught up on the remainder of the college football scores. I don't even think I lasted two minutes. Of course, he was nice enough to inform me the next morning that i had been snoring.

On Sunday, our flight wasn't until 4:30, so we had plenty of time to sleep in, grab breakfast at the hotel and pack our stuff. This time all of the toiletries went into his bag, so that we could carry my bag on and not have to pay $15 to check it. We grabbed lunch with our hosts; then the nice guy with the minivan (this one operating as it should) drove us back to the airport, which then began the 10 hours of travel nightmares.

Our flight path was scheduled to take us from Birmingham to Atlanta (the busiest airport in the nation) for a short layover, and then on to Cleveland, arriving home by 9:45 pm. The fun started in security tagged the bf for the special full-body pat down and bomb testing of the luggage. Of course, the most amusing part for me? He was carrying my bag. So when they opened it, they were taking out my heels, dress pants and underwear. I asked him later whether he told them it was his girlfriend's bag or that he was a crossdresser. At that point, we had already found out our first flight was delayed by at least an hour, so he didn't seem so amused. So after waiting for our delayed flight for an extra 90 minutes, we finally departed for Atlanta.

Luckily, our Atlanta to Cleveland flight was also delayed, which meant we avoided having to find a hotel room in Atlanta. From what I had heard from friends, Atlanta is a nightmare to fly through normally, let alone on a busy holiday weekend. Regardless, we had enough time to quickly grab ham sandwiches and Cheetos (which the bf was nice enough to remember is one of my favorite snacks). While we finally made it into Cleveland around 11:15ish, the bf's bag did not. It was still in Atlanta because somehow Delta couldn't manage to transfer bags from their plane to a continental plane in 60 minutes. So the bf spent 20 or 30 minutes in Continental's luggage office filing a claim (along with a number of other folks who had been on both of our flights).

Luckily, I don't live far from the airport, so we finally made it home around 12:15 and crashed. (And we figured it out, that we basically could have driven back to Ohio in the same amount of time.) While we were both planning on going into work on Monday morning, having to go get back to the airport to get the bag changed our plans. So we took advantage of the situation. We slept in until about 8:30 when we got the call that the suitcase had indeed made it to Cleveland, grabbed quick showers, swung by the airport to get the bag and went to breakfast. (I have to say that It really helps the relationship that we're both huge breakfast fans.)

So that is the probably-way-too-long detailed version of our first trip together. We successfully weathered it, didn't bicker even once and managed to still want to be together. It was just a weekend trip, but I think it bodes well for us.

Random inspiration VII

Like putting together the ingredients of a cake - if you put together love, courage and tenderness - you will get a great life - every time. ~Laura Teresa Marquez

Tenderness is the repose of passion. ~Joseph Joubert

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. ~Robert Frost

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. ~Enrich Segal

You know you are a Boy Scout when...

As you know, there are all types of facintating groups on Facebook. I found one today that had me rolling on the floor - "You Know You Are A Boy Scout When..." It includes a list of 162 ways to determine whether or not you are. If you aren't, you probably won't even find this entry remotely funny. For those of us raised in Scouting and for whom it is a way of life, it's pretty funny.

Here's a link to the group http://tiny.cc/gEyh4 and my commentary follows on a couple that have the most personal relevance to me.

5-You can relate anything you do to a camp story.
I find myself way too often starting out a story with "remember that time at Scout camp." That's fine for my friends who lived through those adventures with me. For everyone else, it just makes me seem weirder that I already am. Beside how many girls have tons and tons of Boy Scout camp stories?? What I've discovered this year is that apparently Scout camp is the only place where I have any street cred.

39-You see the dirt in your food, but eat it anyway.
Part of my Boy Scouting street cred is the three times I've been to Philmont, a 127,000+ acre Boy Scout ranch located near Cimarron, N.M., in the Sangre de Cristo mountains in the northeastern part of the state. Now, when I was on my first week-long Mountain Women trek, as well as the longer, and much more strenuous, Rayado trek, we started our adventures with the "five-second food rule." If any type of food fell on the ground, it was still good for five seconds. By the middle of the twenty-one-day Rayado trek, I think we were up to five minutes or longer. As long as there wasn't anything crawling on it - or at least nothing that couldn't be brushed off - the food was fair game. I'm not sure my tolerance would be quite as high now.

44-You couldn't imagine dating someone non-scouting.
For most of my life, the joke in my family is that there is a rank requirement to date and marry an Eidam daughter. My brother-in-law is an Eagle Scout. He and my sister met while working on staff together at Seven Ranges (though they didn't start dating until summer camp was over). And Joe proposed to Penny at the chapel at Camp McKinley (where my parents lived until yesterday, now they're at Seven Ranges). The current bf is not an Eagle Scout. But so far, my parents seem to like him, so he might get in without the rank requirement. Though my sister was nice enough yesterday to point out that the family is going to have to take a vote in order to make it official. I told her she better make it soon.

50-As a Scouter your fire starting tools of choice are flint and steel and camp fuel (which gets pour on when the kids aren't around).
Is there another way to start a fire?!?!?!?! Camp "fuel" always worked, especially when the OA guys were the ones responsible for the campfire.

61-You are known by your scout name to more people than by your real name.
My father is known fondly as Ranger Skip. Though his given name is Philip, he has always been known as Skip in Scouting circles. And since he's worked for the Scouts since 1996, pretty much everyone calls him Skip. I can't tell you the last time I heard someone call him Phil. (My mom does call him Vincent - his middle name - when he's in trouble.)

84-You know you're a Scout when you and your significant other met while working at camp, and over half the people at your wedding were scouts.
This one goes back to my sister and brother-in-law. Deciding what to wear to their wedding would have been easier for well over half the attendees at their wedding if the invitation had "Class A Dress Preferred."

92-You know you're a Boy Scout when you refer to the chipmunks on campus as "Mini-bears."
Gee, I thought everyone called chipmunks "mini-bears."

105-You come home from a jamboree and walk down the street at home and want to say hello to everyone you walk past, because it just feels natural.
My parents are friendly anyways, but I'm sure they felt this way after coming home from serving on the staff of the national jamboree.

152-You know you're a Boy Scout when you have the ability to fall asleep anywhere, anytime no matter what's going on around you.
This is how I can tell that I'm way too removed from Scouting in my every day life. In high school, it was a joke that I could sleep anywhere. Top bunk with the overhead lights blaring in Riddle Cabin. Next to the campfire. In the back of the van on the way home from our backpacking trip (there may have been some other things going on back there, but I'll never tell. Hey, it was a co-ed group and the grownups couldn't watch us all of the time). Now I have horrible sleeping abilities and am lucky if I can fall and stay asleep in my own bed.

Blue v. Red, spouse v. spouse

Regardless of which way today's election goes it will be historical. If the Democrats win the White House, the first African-American will become president of the United States. If the Republicans take it, the first woman will become vice president.

Of course, among friends and work colleagues, there can be varying political views. But what happens when the political differences are between you and the person who sleeps on the pillow next to you?

There can be extremely fundamental differences between spouses - one might be pro-choice, one might be in favor of smaller government. I've read postings from people that say they simply can't discuss politics with their significant other because it can result in a knock-down, drag-out fight. I've read others that said they wouldn't have married their spouse if they were of a different political persuasion.

In my (humble) opinion, differences in politics are like any difference in view you may have with the person you love. One to be discussed, reasonably. You will never agree with your spouse 100 percent of the time on every issue - regardless of it involves politics. However, I see no reason why two intelligent adults can't sit down and reasonably discuss a topic that is of importance to one or both parties. Even if there is disagreement, each party should respect the other's point of view.

Maybe I have too simplistic of a view, but it just seems plain silly to me if spouses (unreasonably) fight over politics. Regardless of our difference in views, I would still like to wake up with my significant other smiling at me.

Jack o' creativity - the spooky chapter

Here's the pumpkins by candlelight.

My home has gone to the furry ones

So as frequently seems to happen to me, I walked through the door into my dark apartment this evening, and as I turned the corner at the kitchen counter, my feet hit a number of inanimate objects on the floor.

I flipped the light over the sink on and was met by a drinking glass (yes, one made of actual glass - luckily it didn't break), an empty Advil bottle and my new S'mores figurine lying haphazardly on the floor.

What does this mean? It means that my youngest troublemaker, Archimedes (the curious black cat pictured here), has been traipsing around on part of my kitchen counter while I was working hard at the office to put a roof over his head.

This is similar to what greets me every morning in the bathroom, a tipped-over trash can. Archimedes tips it over in order to pull out the q-tips. The best part is that he does it multiple times during the day. It's tipped over when I get home, it's tipped over when I go back into the bathroom to prep for bed, it's tipped over when I get up in the morning.

The second best thing is what he does with the q-tips - he plays with them until he gets bored and then he throws them under the bookcase in the dining room. This adds to his collection of milk bottle rims, toy mice and hair bands. Well, if I'm ever running low on any of these items, at least I know where to look.

My children are rounded out with Shelby, seen lounging above, and my diva, Patches, my calico shown super, super lounging at the left.

So while I'm working hard, the kitty crew are living large at home.

Brotherly love

My parents both come from small families. Each of them has one brother. My dad's brother - my Uncle Greg - lives in Knoxville, Tenn., and celebrated his 60th birthday this past March. My cousins threw my uncle a big weekend party to celebrate the occasion.

My parents ventured south to warmer pastures (March in Tennessee is definitely warmer than March in Ohio) for the weekend.

My cousin Shannon was in town last weekend to spend her school's fall break with me and was nice enough to share these photos with me. I just couldn't resist posting them.

Photo 1: See Uncle Greg be kissed by my Dad, Skip

Photo 2: The Eidam brothers hammin' it up.



Photo 3: All of the Eidam boys - Curt and Greg (my cousins), Uncle Greg, Skip

It had been years since everyone had been together under one roof. Unfortunately, my sister and I weren't able to make it down, but it was great that the original Eidam brothers were able to get together and share the love.

Jack o' creativity

The bf had a most brilliant idea this past weekend - let's carve pumpkins! Sheer brilliance. I haven't carved pumpkins since maybe I was 10 or 11. Needless to say, I was very excited!

So we trekked down to the local farmer's market to choose the blank pumpkin palettes that would become our artistic masterpieces. (Of course, we also had to pick up some homemade bread, strawberry jam, grapes and the best part, the chocolate buckeyes he found as the cashier was ringing us out - yum!)

My jack 'o lantern (pictured above) has interesting eyes, but lacks original character in the mouth. Bf's pumpkin on the other hand (captured here) has the spice of creativity that mine seems to be lacking - his is puking its guts out.

Now I just need the nighttime photos where their funny faces are glowing by candlelight.

And I have 12 months to plot next year's brilliant creative pumpkin masterpiece. He beat me this year, but I'm going to call it a "practice round" - which means it's game on next Halloween!

Full circle

In my first blog entry, I mentioned a person who had come back into my life, a person who completely turned things upside down and startled the outlook I had long held tightly to.

In the same entry, I made a bold statement that I only wanted to fall in love one more time in my life.

I probably told myself at the time that this person and this wish were not linked together – though I’m nearly positive that is what my subconscious desired.

In the time since then, this person and this wish have become directly linked together. In this man I have found the person I will love and spend the rest of my life with.

In this man I have found the one who makes me laugh and feel safe, who challenges me, who loves me and my quirks, who makes me smile at all the right moments, who is tender and passionate, who I adore and want to spend all of our days together making happy.

Down on one knee, foiled

So while driving home the other night, I had what I thought was a brilliant idea for a new book - one that I would of course write and from which I would make millions.

Why not write a book - aimed at guys - on how to make the best marriage proposal to the woman you love (though I did figure I could throw in a chapter for the gal looking to surprise her guy - or her gal - with a proposal).

Then I jumped on Amazon.com to see if any other books on this topic existed... much to my chagrin, it's been done already. Boy, I'm always behind the curve.

But in the meantime, I've decided to informally poll my engaged and married friends to see what their personal proposal stories are. Maybe some other brilliant angle to this book idea will come to me. I'd hate to lose out on the millions due to me.

The view from 25

So the PR firm I work for just moved into new digs on the 24th and 25th floors of Cleveland's historical Terminal Tower. With the move comes a new company name - Falls Communications - and a new view (pictured here). So, not only do I have a new view from my new office (though it is sans door), but my window opens. For me, this is a definite bonus!

In our old space, I had a window, but my view was the immediate side of another building.

So here's to watching the fireworks at Indians games next year from my perch on the 25th floor.

Random inspiration VI

You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
What mood is that?
Last-minute panic.
~ Calvin & Hobbes

Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation and a pinch of creativity. ~ Bo Bennett

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. ~ Scott Adams

Creative minds are rarely tidy.

The creative person is both more primitive and more cultivated, more destructive, a lot madder and a lot saner, than the average person. ~ Frank Barron

Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction. ~ Pablo Picasso

The colors of fall

Though I'm still trying to get used to the quickly shortening days and too-rapidly falling temperatures, I am anxious for the beautiful colors of fall.

Autumn is my favorite season (see "10 things I love about fall" entry). My childhood fall seasons were spent outside, hiking in the woods and jumping in the leaves (of course, after we raked them).

Fall camp outs at Scout camp included hot cocoa around an evening campfire, hanging out with friends and perhaps even the occasional campfire song.

I find the season romantic and quixotic. Evenings curled up by candlelight. Sleeping in on a random Saturday morning. Long drives on a cool Sunday afternoon.

It's a shame when the snow comes.

Always as a gift

Why is it that some women require their boyfriend, partner, husband to say "I love you" at the beginning or end of every interaction... every time he walks in the door, every time he leaves for work, at the end of every phone conversation? Is she afraid that if she doesn't require it, he'll never say it? Does she think he needs to be constantly reminded?

It doesn't make any sense to me. Requiring it will all too soon turn into "Iloveyoubye." One word, not the three separate syllables it should be. Every time I hear these words from the man in my life, I want to know that when he looks in my eyes, or holds me tight against him, and he tells me "I love you," that in that moment, nothing else matters. And I want him to know that when I say those words to him, that there is nothing more important than him.

i never want the words "I love you" to be a requirement. I always want them to be a gift, to be received and cherished.

The entrance

Love walked in on a Saturday
Tiptoed to the edge of the bed and
Slipped nearly silently beneath the cool sheets
The only indication a whisper in my ear

I suspect he'd been concealing himself
For some time just behind the closed door
Waiting for a hint that he'd be met with open
Tenderness and safety, passion and abandon

Love caressed me softly, brushed the hair
Back from my face, held me tightly against him
There was no hesitation in his words only
Desire, veneration, wanting, insistence

From me, he easily extracted plans and
Promises for the moment in front of us,
The tomorrows waiting around the corner
Words from me never before spoken

I am bound to him, but without ties or shackles
I belong to him, but without obligation
I love him, without inhibition, with all that I am
Love is here for all the Saturdays to come

10 things I love about fall

While others are complaining about the waning of summer, I'm anxiously awaiting the official arrival of fall. For as long as I can remember, it has been my favorite season of the year. While it takes me a while to get used to the sun setting so early, there are many things I love about fall:

10. The cool, crispness in the air

09. A hillside brilliantly lit up with vibrant reds, oranges and yellows

08. My mom's hot cocoa

07. Dad's Thanksgiving stuffing (which it looks I will probably have to live without this year...boo)

06. Long, leisurely walks in the woods

05. Driving down the rural road to my parents with the windows down, heat on high and music blasting...watching the fallen leaves kick up behind my car

04. Carving pumpkins (though unfortunately, it's been years since I've actually done it)

03. More evenings by candlelight - my particular fall favorite is pumpkin spice

02. Bundled in a cozy sweatshirt and blanket in front of a crackling fire

01. Sleeping with the windows open and snuggling under the comforter with my favorite person :)

100 things about me: the final installment

1. At my most basic, I want to reach a point in my life where I'm happy more than I'm not; be able to love and be loved without stress; feel comfortable with myself and where I'm at in my life; be a good daughter, sister, friend and partner; and just plain enjoy my life.

2. I'm with an amazing guy who seems to be gifted with the uncanny ability to get along with me. Try not to hold it against him.

3. I'm fascinated by Native American mythology.

4. When I'm sick, I want to be babied. I don't want to be by myself. I want someone else there who will run to the store at 7 in the morning and buy me ice cream and Vernors soda, check on me in the middle of the night, rub my back, sit with me through a movie marathon and indulge my randomness.

5. I'm bad at picking lines - lines at the grocery store, turnpike toll booth, BMV - doesn't matter where the line is, I'm bad at picking and guaranteed to wait...a really, really long time.

100 things about me: nearly the last installment

5. With me, you typically get bright or early, but not both. If I'm early, I'm not bright. If I'm bright, it's not likely to be early. There is a rare occasion where bright and early happen simultaneously. Of course, no one else usually benefits from that perfect storm except for my cats.

6. I really want to know the origin of "going to hell in a hand basket." Guess I could just Google it instead of writing about it here.

7. For me, nearly everything is better by candlelight - dinner, romance, reading, relaxing, seduction, conversation, just hanging out. I should probably own stock in a candle company.

8. My favorite candy bar is Three Musketeers.

9. I tend to double dip, though I try to be careful depending on the company I'm keeping at the time.

10. My worst job ever was during a college summer when I worked for a pottery in quality control. It was hot, I had to sit on a little stool all day long. It was not fun.

100 things about me: installment nine

11. Music can totally control my mood. Rock, indie, classical, rap, folk, alternative, country, jazz, reggae, R&B, etc. There are songs that I blast at full volume in my car. There are songs I play when trying to relax. There are songs I play when spending a quiet night in. There are songs I identify with certain people, certain moments, certain moods. I suppose like anyone, my life has a soundtrack - though I'm probably the only one even remotely interested in it.

12. Someday I'd like to write and publish a novel, or at least a collection of short stories.

13. Fall is my favorite season, hands down. I find romance in the color of the leaves on the mountainside, the crisp edge of the air, bundled in a blanket sitting out next to the lake watching the stars come out.

14. I spent much of first grade in front of the pencil sharpener facing the wall - punishment for talking in class. That started a trend. When mom and dad went to parent-teacher conferences, the only thing I ever really had to be afraid of was the teacher reporting back to them how much I talked in class. Though Dad knew there was something wrong with my freshman science teacher (and not me), when the teacher told my dad that I never raised my hand and never talked in class. Dad told me it didn't matter that I didn't like the teacher, I still needed to get an A.

15. I love thunderstorms.

16. I had braces when I was in eighth grade.

17. The summer before I graduated from college I rolled a rider lawnmower into the lake at Camp McKinley. I had been helping my father mow grass. I ended up with seven stitches in my head. I guess I'm lucky I didn't do more, possible more permanent, damage to myself.

18. My favorite news program is CBS News Sunday Morning with Charles Osgood. Each segment is an in-depth look at the unique angles of stories leading today's headlines, as well as those I wouldn't otherwise here about. It's kind of like NPR for TV. Besides, who can't get on board with a show who shows a sun as it's brand and as it goes to every commercial break. My only problem? Getting up on Sunday mornings by nine to turn it on.

19. Some times I can be my own worst enemy.

20. My favorite flower is the Gerber daisy.

100 things about me: installment eight

The "things I'm not" session:

21. I'm not even remotely a wall flower.

22. I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up.

23. I'm not often good at keeping my opinions to myself.

24. I'm not a fan of curling.

25. When I buy a gift for someone that I'm positive they will absolutely love, I'm not good at keeping it a secret. I get too excited about it and feel the need to share...like...right now.

26. I'm not interested in people who are fake. You know...like plastic people :)

27. I'm not a fan of not being sure about the things in my life. Though, sometimes the things I am most unsure about bring me the greatest joy. It's a constant battle to try and be patient with some things in my life progressing at their own speed. I'm much more comfortable being in the driver's seat. But of course, when there are other people involved, this can cause conflict.

28. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a fan of Star Wars...and Star Trek (as long as it doesn't involve a costumed convention). The trouble with tribbles is...

29. I'm not obsessed with celebrities, though I do tend to peripherally follow them. I need to at least be up to speed on the big stuff for lunch-time conversations.

30. I'm not sure what to enter here. I reserve the right to come back and change #30.

100 things about me: installment seven

31. I'm 1/4 German (dad), 1/4 Polish (dad) and 1/2 Hungarian (mom).

32. While some people have one or two favorite restaurants, I have a favorite restaurant for different types of foods. Grilled cheese at Melt in Lakewood. Mac 'n cheese at Krazy Mac's (formerly Cheddar's) in Cleveland. White cheddar mashed potatoes at Cleveland Chophouse. Hot dogs with cheddar at the Hot Dog Shoppe in East Liverpool. Pasta - salmon farfalle at Vivo and mushroom tagliatelle at Bice, both in downtown Cleveland.

33. I like to move my furniture around frequently. This has always been the case, ever since I moved into my own room at age seven. Unfortunately, my current apartment doesn't really contribute this obsession.

34. My family's favorite card game is euchre. I'm decent at it. I just don't have the patience or desire to count the cards and pay attention to what's been played and what hasn't. The only cards I care about are the left and right bowers.

35. My favorite colors are red, red, red and black.

36. I really want to go to grad school. Right now, I'm thinking about the master's in environmental studies at Cleveland State University. It's just a matter of finding the time and oh, the money.

37. I learned to drive on a standard and took my driving test on a standard (passed the first time, thank you very much). After driving a standard in Philly, I'll never own one again. The other nonnegotiable for any car I own is that it must include a sunroof.

38. I was born in Elyria, Ohio, though was technically a resident of East Liverpool, Ohio, located two hours away. When my parents moved to East Liverpool, my mom kept her doctor in Elyria, where she's originally from.

39. When I was in my teens, I wanted to be a marine or wildlife biologist. There's nothing quite as amazing as watching a humpback whale coming up out of the water and crashing back into the ocean, or seeing a wolf disappear into the treeline.

40. Christmas is my hands-down favorite holiday. My family tradition includes attending Midnight Mass (my one time a year to be a Catholic), rushing home and getting into our PJs and opening gifts starting at 1:30 in the morning. Dad is the only one who can hand out gifts. And of course, it wouldn't be complete without the wrapping paper fight. After all the gifts are opened (except for the one my mom holds to open on Christmas Day morning), we break out the chips and dip (which MUST be Lawson's french onion chip dip from what is now Circle K) and watch a family movie. People start crashing around 4:30/5 am. We sleep in, though Dad gets up around 9 am to start dinner.

100 things about me: installment six

41. I don't have much interest in video games, but I have to say, I ROCK at Tetris.

42. My cousin Shannon is one of my other closest friends. While we grew up in different states, we were inseparable when we were together. We're only four days apart (with the emphasis from her on the fact that she's the oldest). My dad has always called us the bobbsey twins

43. My idea of a perfect romantic weekend includes a quiet cabin, hiking in the woods, maybe a canoeing trip, candlelight and campfire. Ok, then there's my other personality that would love a weekend in Chicago, posh hotel, great restaurants, an evening show and a stroll along the lake. The common denominator between these two divergent ideas may be the emphasis on quality in-bed time :)

44. I played the flute in the Beaver Local Middle School band from fifth through seventh grade. I transferred to St. Anthony's Catholic School in eighth grade. While the school didn't have a band, I was a member of the choir. The choir director learned that I played flute, and before I knew it, I was accompanying the choir at our Christmas performance in the middle of Southern Park Mall.

45. The room I hate cleaning most in the world is the bathroom.

46. I spent 12 years in Girl Scouts but did not earn my Gold Award. One of my regrets.

47. I'm planning to volunteer for my first-ever political campaign. I just don't want to have to canvas neighborhoods, make phone calls or host a party. I guess that leaves me with stuffing envelopes.

48. I don't always have a lot of patience. I like to blame my ex for sucking it all out of me. (Though I think maybe my mom was the first to come up with this idea.) Since this doesn't usually (ok, never) serves me well presently, I try to chill out. Occasionally, it even works.

49. This winter I want to learn to snowboard. Next spring, I want to try white water rafting.

50. I'm addicted to NPR. I prefer it to all other forms of media - though I don't listen to it as much as I did when my commute was an hour each way. My favorite shows are "This American Life" and "Fresh Air." I've heard a rumor that at some point a show ran where Ira Glass and Terry Gross interview each other. Note to self, find it and download it.

100 things about me: installment five - the "I've never" edition

I need a day or two to come up with additional unique, witty entries. So to buy myself some creative time, this entry is the "I've never" edition.

51. I've never shoplifted.

52. I've never been to Europe. Though if I put in just 7-1/2 more years at Falls, Rob will pay for me to go. Not sure I want to wait that long.

53. I'd like to say I've never lied to my parents, but I was a teenage girl with a boyfriend and a curfew. Let's just say it might have happened once, or twice, or thrice.

54. I've never gotten a tattoo. I suppose there's still time for that. Though since I don't want anything easily visible, not sure where I'd get it, or even have a clue on what I would get.

55. I've never had a one-night stand. Couple of nights maybe, but never just one. Just kidding!

56. I've never been to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Spent time on the rim, but no time all the way down in.

57. As sure as I can be, I've never lived a past life. The concept interests me, but I've never had dreams or flashbacks of myself in any earlier time. If I'm in the middle of my first life now, I'm pretty interested to see what my second life holds for me.

58. I've never been shot out of a cannon or been anything else resembling a circus star. Though at times, my life has seemed like a three-ring circus.

59. I've never been to a rap concert. Steve Miller Band, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Garth Brooks (twice)...yes. Even (and trust me I hate to admit this) New Kids on the Block (please remember that I was 15 and only went because of peer pressure :). But never a rap concert.

60. I've never been on a cruise. Not sure if I'm missing anything here. I think I'd rather spend a week at an all-inclusive resort.

100 things about me: installment four

61. I would like to try skydiving and bungee jumping.

62. Kat is my oldest, "technically" non-relative friend. Though we can't pinpoint it exactly, we figure we've been friends for just over 20 years. (Did I just say 20 years?!?!?! Holy crap.) She knows all of my good, probably all of my bad and...drum roll, please...she still loves me, still talks to me and doesn't hold any of it against me. I love her too!

63. I write poetry in my free time. (Notice I didn't say that it was good.) I used to write all of the time in high school and college, and then stopped. I need to figure out a way to unlock better creativity within myself.

64. Most teens spend their weekends partying and drinking with friends. Not me. I spent most of my weekends and summer breaks at Boy Scout camp, specifically Camp McKinley. This incldued day camp, polar bear camp, spring camp, summer camp, etc., etc., etc. I was a what they call a regular. Besides, when you're 15, and the boy-to-girl ratio is 40-1...you play the odds. The irony now is that my parents live at the Stone House at Camp McKinley. Too bad they didn't live there when I was in high school...sure would have cut down on my commuting time...and maybe I would have gotten into less trouble.

65. I started my college career at Bowling Green and then transferred to Kent State in my junior year specifically for its PR program.

66. You won't find any better PopTart flavor than frosted brown sugar cinnamon.

67. When I graduated from college, I packed up my stuff and moved to Philadelphia. I loved living there. It's a great city, close to NYC, the Jersey shore, Baltimore, DC, mountains, etc. Plus, you can't find good hoagies, soft pretzels or cheesesteaks in Ohio. The one word that I hung onto from my time in Philly is "soda." I've been back in Ohio for more than seven years and just can't call it pop. Don't think I'll ever be able to.

68. In addition to my neices, Olivia and Cassandra, I am aunt to a number of other children that I adore - most notably, my goddaughter Carolyn (who is going to be 14 in November - gasp, is taller than me and absolutely beautiful!), Kat's youngest daughter Katrina and my cousin Shannon's darling munchkins, Zarah and Zender...though I'm not sure that you can classify Zarah as a munchkin, as she will be turning the ripe old age of 12 this fall. (Ok, reminder to me...need to get my butt to Tennessee to see Zarah and Zender, both of whom I haven't seen in well over a year. Hopefully, this doesn't make me a bad aunt.)

69. I hate olives. Black olives, green olives, marinated olives. Doesn't matter what you do to them, how you prepare them. I do not like them at all.

70. Kate is just short for Katie. My mom wanted to name my sister and I shorter names, so that we wouldn't go by a nickname. Well, that worked out for her. I go by Kate because I really don't want to be 80 and have people calling me Katie. Just seems way too cutesy.

100 things about me: installment three

71. More than anyone I’ve lost, I miss my grandfather most.

72. I can be deeply complicated. Then on the other hand, not so much.

73. My celebrity crushes include LL Cool J and John Cusack.

74. I’ve been told I can be a bit high maintenance. I don’t think it’s in a bad way.

75. I’m a bit addicted to Facebook.

76. In junior high, I played softball, first base. Couple of home runs here, couple of home runs there.

77. My favorite TV shows are House, Two-and-a-Half Men, NCIS, Cold Case and Without a Trace. I’m sure the list would be different if I had cable.

78. I love extra cheese on pizza, in pasta, on garlic bread, on sandwiches, on pretty much anything.

79. Last year’s Browns’ season opener against the Steelers was the first NFL game I ever attended. I sometimes find myself watching a game on TV now, just for the hell of it. Shhhhh, don’t tell.

80. My favorite summer is the one I spent in Cimarron, NM, working on staff at Philmont Boy Scout Ranch. It was the summer I was most free.

100 things about me: installment two

81. I have twin nieces – Cass and Livvy – who just turned one. They are walking maniacs. I love being an aunt.

82. One of my all-time favorite foods is mushrooms. When I’m out, I tell the waiter that I want my pasta with “extra, extra, extra mushrooms, and just when the chef thinks he’s put in enough, he should add some more.” Eighty percent of the time there’s not enough.

83. I’m a voracious reader, always have been. When I was little and my mom would make me clean my room (which was nearly always a declared natural disaster area), I would hide on the floor on the other side of the bed and read. She would come in to check on my progress (which was nearly zero) and catch me reading. She would confiscate the book and put it on the roll-top desk in the hallway. Let’s just say that by the end of me “cleaning” my room, there were usually no fewer than 10 books stacked on the desk.

84. I pluck my eyebrows in the car. The lighting is much better than in my bathroom.

85. I did the marriage thing once. It didn’t work out. I would consider doing it again for the right person.

86. I know a lot about weird, miscellaneous subjects – like welding, construction equipment, disaster recovery, securities litigation and employment and labor law. One of the many benefits of being in PR. Besides, it makes me super popular at cocktail parties.

87. I can be very sentimental and a bit of a hopeless romantic.

88. My favorite numbers are 3 and 7.

89. I drive a sunburst orange Jeep Compass. Yes, the color is really called sunburst orange.

90. I imagined myself to be at a different place at this point in my life. Hopefully, the trials of the past are worth it for what hopefully lies on the horizon.

100 things about me: installment one

My adventure of the day is to come up with 100 unique and truly intriguing things about myself. The task seems a bit daunting, so I decided to break it into more manageable parts. So here's the first installment of ten.

91. I am the oldest of two. My sister would tell you that you should feel sorry for her for having to have grown up as Kate's little sister. (I tell her my bossing her around made her a stronger person. She says I just say that to make myself feel better.)

92. I have a love-hate relationship with my plants. I love it when they bloom. They hate it when I don't water them.

93. Unlike many college graduates, I actually do for a living what my degree is in (public relations).

94. I tend to way over think things. Sometimes to my detriment.

95. I always prefer strawberry jelly.

96. I grew up in a Scouting family. Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts. My parents even live at a Boy Scout camp. For a long time, the joke was that a boy had to be an Eagle Scout to marry an Eidam daughter.

97. I have three children of the four-legged, furry persuasion. The triple kitty threat of Patches, Shelby and Archimedes. And lately I've found myself wanting a dog, which would probably be almost impossible since I'm not always home that much.

98. My parents have been married for nearly 35 years and are still very much in love. I hope to have that type of relationship and intensity of love in my life.

99. Not sure how much credence I give them, but I check my horoscope and lovescope pretty much daily.

100. I've been to 49 states. Hey, you can't drive to Hawaii.

The last one

I wish this Sunday was last
With the sun trying to steal in through
The blinds of the east-facing window
Today, the windows are open
And the ocean-blue curtains gently
Flow in the placid lake breeze
The weather too ideal for words
The hanging chimes the only sound
Yet I’d trade this idyllic tranquility
For last Sunday, your head on the
Pillow next to mine in the morning
Moments of tenderness interspersed
With mordant jokes, witty banter
You next to me for a moment more

Not as invincible as I thought

There are moments in time when we turn around and catch a glimpse of a past life, how things were, when we felt a certain level of confidence in the direction of our lives. There was a point in my life when I felt invincible, like my future path was undoubtedly mapped out in front of me. All I had to do was take the next clearly marked step. I felt safe, certain about the decisions I was making, the life I was living.

Then one day I looked down. And it’s not just that my path was no longer marked, it was missing all together. It felt like I had only closed my eyes for a moment, and in that moment, it had all been stolen from me. There were no breadcrumbs, no markers to lead me back to where I thought I was supposed to be. Everything that made me feel safe, protected was missing. The things that I had held onto had been torn from my hands.

Everything has changed. And now when I turn around and catch that glimpse, the echo, I wonder if maybe I held on too tightly. Some things, some people just aren’t meant to be. We’re meant to have moments of our lives intertwined with theirs, and then the vines untangle and we’re meant to move into someone else’s sphere.

What I wonder now, though, is how do I clearly define when I’m in the right spot, the one where I’m meant to make my new life. Maybe I’m just expecting too much of myself, of fate. I try hard to let things unfold as they will, but sometimes it’s hard for me to let that happen. I want to feel protected, confident in where I am standing, who I’m standing with. Not knowing feels more than a little disconcerting at times.

While I’d love to feel invincible again, I think that maybe there’s more to be said for being fluid, not so steadfast, not so unyielding. I do want to feel safe again. I’m trying to just be patient and keep my eyes open for the breadcrumbs to my new path. I just hope that I clearly know it when I see it, that I won't pick the wrong one. I just don't want to miss it.

Borrowed

A moment awake in
The dead of night
His head on the
Pillow next to mine
Sounding softly
Intake of a breath

The darkness warm
Reassuring, comforting
The moon sneaks in
Shadows kept at bay
His hand rests silently
Lying in mine

With the morning
Only I have the memory
Of that moment
Borrowed from the darkness
Locked away now
For safekeeping

Pieces

Tear open the box and
Toss the pieces on the table
A thousand parts scattered
And turned upside down
Carefully flip them right side up
One by one, piece by piece
But still the picture separated,
Broken parts of the whole
Hold the pieces up to the light
The edges have changed,
Morphed over time
But they still seem not to fit
Together quite right
The task to reassemble
Seems pointless, only
Picture perfect on the cover

Random inspiration V

If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. ~Winston Churchill

He who angers you conquers you. ~Elizabeth Kenny

Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge. ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. ~Carl W. Buechner

It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweatness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it. ~Christian Nevell Bovee

Passion is the genesis of genius. ~Anthony Robbins