The next step (and no, not the kind with a shiny diamond in a pretty velvet box)

Ah, that dreaded milestone in a relationship when it’s time to meet the significant other’s parents. I’ve heard the horror stories from others about how the first meet-and-greet went horribly wrong with no ability to recover from the disaster – hence leading to the eventual demise of the relationship. I’ve also heard about the opposite where the newly introduced party and the parents instantly become BFF.

So when I was scheduled to meet the bf’s parents this past weekend, I was hoping for a happy middle ground between those two extremes – ok, maybe leading a bit more towards the later – not the BFF part, but at least mutual likability between all involved parties.

Now, he met my parents about three months ago. Though my family isn’t that big, it did involve about 15 people for a cookout at my parents’ house. My family can be fairly loud and boisterous (though much of this might be attributable to them reacting to my obnoxious personality) – and so I figured what the heck, I’ll just throw him into the middle of that and see if he sinks or swims. Now, I wasn’t as ruthless as that sounds. I did prep him fairly well on the different personalities that would be involved. And of course, he was his usual charming self and was well received by all. (I think this is probably best demonstrated when after all of us helping my parents move a couple of months later, my brother-in-law asked, “Can we keep him??”)

Anyway, back to me meeting his parents. In mid October, he first broached the subject of introducing me to them, and with everyone’s schedules, this past weekend is when everyone was available.

Now I met both of them briefly at this year’s Easter church service, but it was under the guise of “Meet my friend, Kate. She’s attending service with me before she goes to her parents for dinner.” (In his defense, though we were dating at that time, it wasn’t too serious yet.)

So this past weekend’s meeting would serve as the first “official” meeting where I would be introduced as “the girlfriend.” Now, while I just threw him into the shark tank when he met my parents, he decided to be strategic about the introduction to his parents. He announced that the four of us would meet at a restaurant and partake of dinner together.

He anticipated that this approach would be potentially less stressful for everyone than dinner at his parents’ house. And since he had been nice enough to inform me a couple of months ago that his dad has never really warmed up to anyone he has previously dated, I was very appreciative to his attention to the details of the meeting, and his desire to set up a situation where things were more likely to succeed.

Though I tend to be pretty fearless, I will admit that the ominous warning about his dad was enough to make me feel more than a little stressed from time to time in the weeks leading up to the meeting. I knew that it was important to the bf that they like me, so I really wanted to do right by him.

So with all of these factors added to the mix, my goals for the dinner were to:
1. Officially meet his parents
2. Try and enjoy the evening
3. Not say anything inappropriate or too obnoxious (both of which can be challenging for me)

and…………
4. Not have them hate me

I will admit flashbacks to the 2000 “Meet the Parents” movie were frequently reoccurring in my brain. I was hoping it wouldn’t be some crazy version of the movie, which had the tagline “First comes love. Then comes interrogation.” Now while no one was asking for anyone’s hand in marriage, I was hoping it wouldn’t involve the suspicion, covert background checks and the famed lie-detector test showcased in the movie.

So how did it go? It went very well. We met at this great restaurant in North Canton called Main Street Grille. They seemed genuinely excited to meet me. Conversation was good and engaging from all parties. Appetizers, dinner, dessert and a couple of glasses of wine were all enjoyed at a nice slow, relaxing pace. The bf and I drove home from dinner feeling good about the evening. And I was especially relived because there seemed to be a foundation laid for potential, long-term likability.

My relief was further bolstered a couple of days later when the bf called with the first-hand report from a phone conversation with his dad and an email from his stepmom. Apparently, they liked me.

Well, no need to worry, there's plenty of time left for me to screw things up, but for the foreseeable future, I'm good. We'll see how Christmas goes when I meet the other million members of the family.