What I want

I want to be in a relationship with someone who:

• I am passionate about and who feels the same about me
• Challenges me (though lets me get away with it occasionally)
• Makes me laugh hysterically
• Fights fair
• Will be there when it really matters, and even when it doesn’t
• Includes me in all parts of his life and makes me a priority
• Makes me feel like I really matter, not just when we’re together
• Can be honest with me and himself
• Is willing to have the tough conversations when needed
• Gets along with my friends and family, or is at least willing to really try
• Wants to share the quiet moments with me, as well as the not-so-quiet moments
• Is my biggest cheerleader
• Knows when to step up and take responsibility
• Is great in bed (hey, it never hurts)
• When needed, can put aside the ego and really to try to understand where I’m coming from
• Shares the good times with me, as well as the bad
• Is affectionate at home, as well as when we’re out together or with friends
• At the end of the day, knows that it’s not always going to be easy with me, but that it will always be worth it

I know that it doesn’t all come at once, that it doesn’t all come easily. I know that some of it comes with time. And I know that I’m far from perfect. I know that I don’t always get it right. And I would expect the person I’m with to want these things from me as well.

I would also want that person to know that I’m willing to put in the time, that I’m not going to bail when things get hard. I’m willing to work through the differences. But there also comes a time when I really think that it’s not unreasonable to expect certain levels of engagement, inclusion, communication.

And what do you do when the balance is off? When you can't get past something? Or you feel like the other person isn't getting what you're saying? Is there a time when it’s better to walk away? Or is it the time to hold on and fight for it? I guess it’s hard in any relationship to strike the balance between the two. It can be incredibly frustrating, but when everything is on, it can be wonderful.